Look Who's Back...

Well, it's me again, back for an update. I've been blogging so little because there's not much to say!
I've lost 4 kgs or nearly 9lbs since I wrote last. So that brings me to 42 kgs or 92 lbs in total.

When I last wrote, I had just started my running club. I was really good and kept it up and at the beginning of June I ran a 9km leg of a relay in a marathon. It was tough but I did it. I then took a break from running for a few weeks. I really don't enjoy it - I find it very boring. And I was told that it would do wonders to my legs, bottom and flabby belly but I saw no difference! The other day I went for a run again and I couldn't even do 5k without walking a bit. It has been really hot here recently to be fair, and I find running in the heat very difficult, so I think if it was cooler I'd have managed more, but it scared me a bit, as I don't want to lose all the fitness I worked so hard to get! So I joined a bootcamp class - starting on Wednesday. Apparently it's loads of different exercises, so boredom can't happen, and it'll work on my arms and core too so I should finally see some tightening up.

I kind of lost the run of myself in the last couple of months. There was a lot on and I ate a lot. I still fasted every second day but my feast days went a bit out of control. I also stopped counting calories on My Fitness Pal, which does keep me in check, so I was eating close to 2500 calories on normal feast days. That's not including my bad feast days, after a night out! Two weeks ago I weighed myself after a particularly heavy weekend, where I had eaten and not fasted for three days. I had gained three kilos, or 6lbs. I think it was a wake-up call though - I fasted for two days, lost the weight and since then I've been back on track - counting my calories on feast days and not going above 1700.

I've lost a kilo in the last week which is great. Maybe the more relaxed couple of months was good for me - gave my body a break from the routine I had got into. It wasn't catastrophic - I only gained that weight at the very end and it's gone now. And it did ram home to me that I have to count all my calories, feast day or not. I just don't have the discipline to eat well otherwise - whereas seeing it written down and seeing my calories going up keeps me in check.

Is it bad that after a year I'm still having to do that? I eat well now on a daily basis but the urge to binge is still often there - whilst I've made a lifestyle change it hasn't been a full mental change. It is better and when I do let myself pig out I get fuller faster and don't enjoy it as much. It's just that I often see blogs from people who've lost weight who say that they now enjoy eating healthily and will never go back to their old ways. I like my soups and my healthy meals but I still love my pizza and crisps more.
It doesn't worry me too much - they say an alcoholic is always an alcoholic - the wish to drink remains. I think I'm like that about food. It's easier to eat well, I enjoy it and I can resist temptation very easily now, but the back of my mind always wants to throw myself on the food and eat it all. I can control it for the most part now though and that's what's important. And the benefits of my new body are more than making up for not binging! I get so many compliments on a regular basis now. Some people don't even recognise me - we were out in town the other night and a friend I hadn't seen in a long time had to do a double take. Each time that happens I feel like cheering.

Can't wait to start bootcamp - defined arms, here I come!