Oh Come On...!

Day 6 of my fasting and still no weight loss! Very frustrated this morning with it. Last time I did this fast I lost a stone within the 9 days. Is my body different now that I've had a baby? Surely I should still lose weight - I mean, I was eating rubbish, now suddenly I'm not, and yet there isn't a single change. Bit disheartening and I'm getting worried because I have NO summer clothes that will fit me if this doesn't shift. As it is I'm cycling between about 3 outfits and even they don't fit comfortably. Walking half an hour each day too - fairly briskly.
I know it will come off but it seems that it's going to be a lot slower than I expected.
I suppose on the up side, the mental guilt at eating crap is gone. I just hate seeing people and knowing they must be thinking how much weight I've put on. If it would start to shift I wouldn't mind as much...
I'll stick at it.
Right - time for my aloe vera gel... lucky me!!

Here We Go Again...

And here we are. Again.

No, not really. I have gained weight but I've just had a baby so not beating myself up too much.

After I stopped blogging I kept at the weight loss and eventually lost 7 stone. I was at my lightest ever last January - I had discovered Banting and it shifted a stubborn stone so I was nearly at my goal weight although still flabby. No matter what, my arms and stomach never got firm - too much loose skin. My legs also never became slim and shapely but they were fine and I was generally happy. A size 12 in tops and 14 in jeans.

Then I got pregnant! I was really good for the first few months and then I started to let go - I was just so hungry and tired and never felt sick so I just ate everything and gained 4 stone. Whoops!

After I had my daughter, in October, I breastfed for a month and kept eating. I lost a stone right after she was born but was still up 3 stone. She was/is quite difficult - colicky, reflux... so I was tired and probably slightly depressed and I couldn't be bothered cooking so just ate crap. Which didn't help - none of my clothes fit me - beautiful boots I bought last winter are too small, my winter coats are too tight in the arms... I felt rotten.

Christmas happened and I told myself I'd start dieting in January. I kept putting it off until John's dad sent us photos he took at our baby's baptism. Well, that was a wake-up call! My belly and double chin were very illuminated by the flash! Started dieting the next morning!

So it has now been four days - I'm doing the Forever Clean 9 detox again for a kickstart and I'll go back to ADF. I would like to go back to Banting but John is gone vegetarian and I couldn't be bothered cooking 2 separate meals a day. I know I could do vegetarian Banting but it would be difficult. I'll see - maybe I'll try it after a few months of ADF.

So here goes! I'll update at nap times. 😊

Nice Surprise

Well I still haven't lost any more weight - so I've been at this weight now for just over a week.
Was getting a bit frustrated and was telling a friend at work - she mentioned that now I'm exercising - possibly I'm finally getting some muscle which weighs quite a bit. I kind of pooh-poohed that, as I'm not really killing myself with the exercise and Pilates is a lot of stretching and toning - I'm not doing weights or anything.

However, this afternoon I tried on a pair of jeans that were too tight to wear comfortably last weekend and they fit better - so much better that I'm now wearing them. They're still a little too tight but still.
Also, the test pair of jeans that I have lined up - an old pair that are a size down from where I am now - fit! Very tightly - there's no way I could actually wear them yet - they squish around my belly and my bottom is a little too "defined" in them but it's a big improvement from when they only went up to my knees a month ago!
So, my reasoning is that even if I haven't lost much weight recently - maybe my friend is right and it is because I'm gaining muscle and the fat is still dropping off.

It's very exciting because to be at the next size down is my goal for the end of November and I'm nearly there! Another few kilos and I'll fit into them comfortably and then I can go shopping!

I've been really good all week - fasted on Monday, had a very light feast day on Tuesday of 1000 calories, fasted on Wednesday, had another light feast day of 1500 calories yesterday and fasted today. Tomorrow is a feast day but we're going for lunch at my parents' on Sunday. As I want to be able to eat normally then, I'm going to do a half-feast day tomorrow - 1000 calories again or so. And then Sunday I'll have a good feed. Normally, if there was some sort of occasion after a feast day, I'd just have two feast days in a row, but I really don't want a repeat of last weekend.

I wish I could see some movement on the scales though - I get very impatient when it hasn't moved in a while.

The voucher I got for four yoga classes finishes on Wednesday. I really liked it but I can't afford to keep going. I remembered though that my sister has the Wii Fit and it has a yoga instructor on it. So I'm going to collect it tomorrow and then I can start doing some yoga at home. I figure that if I do it maybe twice a week, with Pilates twice a week and Aqua Aerobics once, I'll be doing fairly well!

I'm even thinking of asking for a gym membership for my birthday in November... what has happened to me???

Rewards

So had my first day back at work with all the staff back and it was great - so many people commented on how much weight I'd lost and I got wolf-whistled at and all!

It was a great feeling and gave me an extra push to keep going, which I think I've maybe been needing recently, what with things slowing down and all.

Today was my last day of my kickstart experiment - I ate about 2000 calories today and I have to say that I'll be glad to get back to fasting tomorrow. I feel bloated and sluggish. It's my fault - I could have upped my calories on potatoes and pasta instead of cheese - but anyway. At least the fast tomorrow will feel good. And hopefully I'll see some movement on the scales in the next few days.

Even if I don't, I'm just going to keep going as normal now for a few weeks - no more experiments. I can't plateau forever - I'll have to lose weight at some point!

I'm pleased at how I feel tonight - I was worried that three days of feasting would make me slip out of it a bit - I mean, today, at work, I had two biscuits at the morning break and I did get a moment of worry at one point, thinking, "Oh no, am I slipping back into my 'pick at everything' habits but I don't think so. I stopped at two without too much temptation, whereas last year I'd easily have polished off about four or five. But tonight, as I said, I'm actually looking forward to fasting tomorrow. Feels cleansing.

Shift Please...

I am experimenting again.

I took 3 photos of myself in my underwear about five weeks ago. I compared myself with them last night, and while there is some difference, it's minimal. I had to really look carefully to find anything. I'm a bit annoyed by this, as well as the fact that I haven't really lost weight in about two weeks - I've been hovering on going down one kilo recently but it's not certain enough to please me. So I'm having three feast days in a row, to try and kickstart things again.
As I've said before, I should be eating 2200 calories on feast days, but I usually eat about 1700 or so. I genuinely find it difficult to go above this - I don't want to eat lots of junk all the time to make it, or have huge portions, as I am trying to form better eating habits. However, I wonder if maybe the huge slowdown in weight loss is due to this - my metabolism slowing down maybe?

So yesterday I had a feast day, and today and tomorrow too. Now, I'm not too happy with myself, because yesterday I had pizza and quite a bit of cheese, and today I had even more cheese and some crisps. I haven't gone above 1800 calories either day but I know that saturated fat is not the way to be going either. Tomorrow is the staff lunch - first day back at work after the summer - and there'll be salads but also cake - all of which I intend to eat. So tomorrow night I'm going to have lots of vegetables - I'm worrying a bit for my insides. I'm also worrying that all this saturated fat will mean a rise on the scales in the morning...
Hopefully then, once I start fasting again, I should lose a bit more weight. That seems to have triggered weight loss the last time I did this.

The reason I'm so impatient at the moment is that I'm bordering on going down the next dress size, and I really need new jeans for work but I want to fit into them comfortably, instead of squeezing myself in, when I go to buy them.

However, aside from all the moaning, I just spent a very enjoyable hour. I tried on all my clothes that haven't fit me in three years and they nearly all fit now, apart from a couple of tops that fit but still look a bit tight. So my wardrobe has tripled which is great!

I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow - I'd better get lots of comments on my weight loss!

Growing Up (And In).

Down another kilo!!! That's two this week - so I've lost 18 kilos or 39 pounds so far! Can't believe it, it's so exciting when another bit just drops off. I haven't done anything differently - my feast day on Tuesday was1575 calories, had a fast day of 480 calories yesterday and back on a feast day today - I'm tempted to buy something nice for later, as John is on the night shift and I'll be alone. But that's probably a habit I should be breaking so maybe not.
One more kilo to go and I'll be at my first goal of three stone! Since I have two more weeks before work starts again it looks as though I might make it.

We went to meet a friend for lunch yesterday - I really wanted a delicious-sounding sandwich - goat's cheese, pesto, rocket and sun-dried tomatoes. But it being a fast day I stuck to the soup - Mexican bean - it was nice but the tomato part of the soup was just tinned tomatoes instead of actual tomato soup which was disappointing.
I was starving by about eight o'clock last night so I had a bowl of courgette soup I'd made - so handy having vegetable soup - kills any hunger pangs and it's about 30 calories for a bowl. My stomach was rumbling by the time I went to bed though - so much so that I couldn't wait this morning and jumped out of bed at about half seven to go have some breakfast - avocados on rice cakes.
Fasting till the evening and then having a dinner is really what works best for me.

I was worried last night - I was properly looking forward to eating today and I was lying in bed planning what I'd have, when I thought that it's probably not good to look forward to food so much, is it?? I mean, I know I was hungry but I always feel disappointed at the end of a feast day and slightly excited at the end of a fast day. I suppose as long as it's not making me binge it's ok. And whilst I always promise myself that I'll get crisps for my feast day, I never actually bother. Once the day comes and I'm able to eat what I want, I just go for the healthier option. I'm also getting fussy with my calories.  I'm at my parents' house now for lunch and I wanted a treat with my coffee. I found a pack of chocolate rice cakes, which I normally would scoff down. However, they're 18 calories each and quite small. I had one and decided that it wasn't nice enough to waste all those calories on. My sister offered me chocolate cake, which I know is delicious, and I didn't really want any. Too many calories.

I wonder is this good or bad. In the ADF book, by James Johnson, he does say not to self-restrict on feast days, as you will get bored faster. However, if I was craving it I would have it. So maybe I'm just finally learning self-control and food no longer holds its death-vice grip on me. I can look forward to it, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I don't need or crave it. I'm growing up! Hurray!

Self-Experimentation

Yesterday was supposed to be a fast day. However, since John was going to be working last night too, my dad invited me over for dinner. As a result, I decided to have another feast day. I was hoping really that if I ate freely, and didn't restrict at all, my next fast day might have bigger weight consequences.

So, for breakfast, I had a bowl of soup, and as a big treat, I had a small white roll with some butter and honey. 361 calories.

For lunch I had... wait for it... some more soup, with wensydale and cranberry cheese and multigrain crackers. That's the last of that cheese though so I'll have to come up with a new snack! That came to 229 calories.

For dinner, my dad had bought crisps as nibbles. The pack was 150g so I assumed that I had half that - which came to 379 calories. Crazy! For dinner we had two small chicken and mushroom pies each, 840 calories (I was on a roll) and for dessert we had strawberries. He had his with cream but I had mine with milk and no sugar. The strawberries were 81 calories and the milk was about 300. So that meal came to 1600 calories, and 2190 for the day in total. Which, considering I didn't restrict myself wasn't too bad really, but to be honest, if I didn't have dieting in the back of my mind, lunch would probably have been a toastie which would have driven things way up!

I didn't weigh myself this morning and I fasted all day. Apart from milk in coffee (123 calories) I just had a small dinner there of a tin of tuna, two tomatoes, some lettuce and some light mayonnaise. 336 calories and 456 for the day in total.

That's it now for today so tomorrow morning will be the test. It'll be interesting to see if the odd cheat day like that will kick my body into losing weight again. It had better.

Surely restricting calories should be enough. I mean, even if it's slow, I can't survive on 2100 calories every two days and not lose weight... Surely!!!

Fingers crossed for the morning anyway...!

Oh Come On!!

Weighed myself this morning - nothing. Haven't moved at all in the last week. I'm quite disappointed. I mean, I did eat well in France, and even the days where I splurged a bit weren't too bad, considering it was the only meal of the day. My mum thinks it might be the wine - she says that she finds that whilst it's not too bad in calories, it seems to stop her losing weight. Blast.

I have to go out to that birthday tonight and I do want a few drinks. I'm going to have vodka with orange juice, as it should help my stomach not feel too sick but after tonight I'm not drinking again for a couple of weeks. It was very disheartening to have made a big effort all week to find that I haven't moved.
It has been just over three weeks now though since I started dieting - maybe I've reached my first plateau phase. It had better not last too long!

Got up late this morning - John made me two soft-boiled eggs which I had with a pint of water and a cup of coffee. I was stuffed after that so ended up not having any guacamole or anything else. He's making pork medallions with apple compote and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight and once I've eaten and changed we'll be rushing out the door as we're meeting friends early. So in spite of it being a feast day, it sounds like I won't be going overboard too much.

I'll have the guacamole on Monday.

Tomorrow's the Test...

So, back in rainy Ireland.
I was good today. Only had cups of coffee in the airport and on the plane, despite having to wait at the boarding gate for two hours and being right next to a café with pains au chocolat...
I looked longingly at the flight menu and really considered getting a toastie and skipping dinner tonight but I didn't. I resisted, got a coffee, and then had a breast of chicken, steamed peppers and mushrooms and a bit of pesto for dinner tonight. Really relieved that I'm back into it.

However, I weighed myself when I got back and I had gone up five kilos! I was dressed though and after a pint of water as well as all the coffee whilst travelling so tomorrow morning will be the real test. Having said that, I put on a pair of jeans that I haven't fit into in two years and while they only got halfway up my legs last week, they now go all the way up though I still can't close them. So they can be my new test jeans. Losing weight is nice but it's seeing a difference in clothes that really clinches it for me.

Feast day tomorrow and John has barely touched a lot of the food I brought back from Sunday's big dinner. He ate all the healthy salmon but didn't touch the desserts or guacamole. Typical! The desserts are gone mouldy, (the crime!!) so they have to be dumped, (which is probably good for me but still...) but the guacamole looks ok, as do the pieces of focaccia bread. So I totally intend to have some of that tomorrow. Maybe for lunch.

I'm in the bookshop tomorrow afternoon, and then we have to go straight out to that friend's 30th birthday. I'll drink a bit but I never have too much anyway. Tend to get sick after about five drinks. Which is both annoying and good. Stops me from ever drinking too much. It would be nice to get even a bit tipsy sometimes though.

Sunday will be tough. I always want to eat when I'm tired. And John always treats his hangover day as his weekly treat day with pizza and crisps...

Oh the temptation... Wish me luck for my weigh in tomorrow morning!

Uh oh...

Oh no... Today was a fast day and I just lost it. Had only water and soup all day but then we had to go to a friend's house for dinner. I had three (very small) glasses of wine, a slice of quiche, salad and a couple of bits of cheese with a slice of bread. Nothing too bad but way over 500 calories.

We came back to my grandparents' house and since I'm going tomorrow morning, I started tasting bits of food that I hadn't let myself eat all week. So I ended up having 3 heaped teaspoons of Nutella and a big chunk of Caprice des Dieux. Now I am riddled with guilt and tomorrow will have to be a fast day. Thank goodness I'm going home where there's way less temptation around the house.

That Nutella was delicious though...

What have I done???? That's two days now in a row now... Not feeling too good about myself.

The Perils of Pigging

My diet has been a bit all over the place recently.
Some friends of the family came to dinner on Tuesday night - we had sushi, a lot of wine, and salad. It came to 1641 calories. Not too bad really. But I may have miscalculated the wine as I wasn't exactly measuring my glasses.

Yesterday was the funeral. Although it was supposed to be a fast day, I felt sick and weak before going to the church so I had a bit of bread with some camembert cheese.
We then had people back to the house for the lunch and I didn't eat much but I did have about 5 mini slices of quiche. However, once we were on our own again last night, we all threw ourselves on the leftovers and devoured everything. I ate a LOT of bread and cheese, pate, and I even had Nutella! So much for the fast.

Today is a fast day so, but we've to go for dinner at a friend's house tonight. I'm going to not drink though and whatever she serves, I'll try to avoid the carbohydrates.

Tomorrow I return to Ireland. As I said before, I'll be travelling alone which always leads to me eating but I'm going much earlier than I thought so I'll resist and eat normally once I get home.

It's funny but I've noticed now that every day where I've eaten a lot in the last week - Sunday and yesterday - has been followed by a day of feeling sick and hungry the next day.

I mean, as I type now, my stomach is rumbling and I feel like I'm starving. Even though I've had lots of water. When I do a fast day, I normally extend it to lunchtime of the next day, so I am able to go quite a while without food now and feel fine. However, I wonder if eating heavily is the reason I feel so hungry now. My insides working overtime to get rid of the food. If there's any truth in that, it just shows how over-eating every day becomes a vicious cycle. I'd devour some bread now if I could - whereas normally I really don't feel a need for anything.
It's also slightly worrying me how I slipped so easily back into eating rubbish yesterday. For the last three weeks I've been careful on feast days but yesterday... I had about four slices of bread with pate alone. That's not counting the other three slices with cheese or the roll I had with Nutella...

I'm not going to beat myself up over it though. It was exceptional circumstances and I'll get back into the swing of things tomorrow. Going out for a friend's 30th on Saturday - I'll have to consume any alcohol before midnight. Or do I count a day as ending when I go to bed? Because that could easily be halfway through Sunday...

Subliminal

I feel so good these last couple of weeks. It makes such a lovely change from feeling guilty, fat and full. Now I feel fat but thinner and my self-confidence has sky-rocketed. Even though I'm still about six stone overweight, the knowledge that I have lost weight and am on a good, sturdy path has made me feel so much better about myself.

Today was another fast day and I survived it easily. About four o'clock I was feeling a little weak and shaky so I had a coffee with a bit of fat-free milk and I was fine. Again, keeping busy is really the best - if I'm sitting at home my mind does tend to think about my empty stomach a lot. But I worked in the morning, did a few messages, and had to go to the doctor for a prescription, so I was kept going.

For my dinner, I was feeling tired, so I bought John and I two soups in a carton. Not the best, I know, in terms of nutrients, but I just didn't feel like cooking and I really had a taste for some soup with a fresh roll. I've stopped putting butter on my roll too - I find that since I dunk it in the soup anyway it doesn't really need it.
Anyway, that came to about 350 calories for the day, including the milk in my coffee. I might have an orange or something to bring it up a bit more and to have something nutritious!

I know I keep going on about "My Fitness Pal" app but it really is great. I can keep an eye on the main nutrients and see how my intake is. My iron and Vitamin A are always low - I need to see about upping them.

Feast day again tomorrow - I don't know myself I'm so spoilt with feast days. Every single other diet I've ever done has made me feel limited and restricted. With this one, every other day is nearly exciting, as I plan what I want to eat. And yet it's so free that the lure of the forbidden is gone and I actually eat quite well. Mental games!

I haven't lost any weight in a couple of days - I know I should only be checking once a week but it's too tempting to see if I've gone down anymore. Hope I see a change again soon.
My jeans are so much looser though that I can now take them off without opening the button. Now that's progress!

Fasting Feasting

Second feast day today. I can't seem to get into them, funnily enough. I had no breakfast - just wandered around the kitchen, looking in cupboards and in the fridge and choosing nothing. I didn't feel that hungry and none of the usual temptations jumped out at me. I think I'm still a bit worried about gaining weight. I thought about having a bowl of cereal but considering 30 grams is a serving size and I would want a lot more than that, the number of calories it would use up scared me off.

I ended up having two slices of toast with some smoked salmon for my lunch, which was 600 calories, (bread is a demon!) and we went for dinner at my parents. My mum said she was making tagliatelle carbonara, which I love and fully intended to wolf down. In the end though, to suit my fussy sister, she just made tagliatelle with a cream and rasher sauce, and ratatouille on the side with a bit of cheese grated on top. It was lovely, but only came to about 700 calories. And that included 3 little chocolate eggs as dessert!

The My Fitness Pal app is getting worried about me! I'm consistently under my daily calorie allowance. I know I should probably up my calories a bit, just to keep my metabolism going, but I hardly think I'm going into starvation mode. I mean, I am full after each meal.

I must say though, that this diet is so lovely to follow. This morning I couldn't believe that I was on another feast day already - I was quite prepared to fast for another couple of days.

Still haven't done any exercise. The short Irish summer we were enjoying has disappeared - it's been raining non-stop for the last two days. Also, the dog has hurt her elbow and the vet said not to walk her for the next week. News I was secretly delighted to hear...

Loose Jeans

Feast day one is over. I was a bit worried that eating what I want would be hard to stop the next day but it's fine.

I ended up only having about 1400 calories yesterday. We didn't go to the barbeque in the end as John was too tired, so as well as my chicken wings, I had soup and a roll, and then a roll toasted with peanut butter and a fruit salad. Way too high in sugar, fat and carbohydrates and lacking in everything else but so nice to eat!

I think for my fast meal tonight I'll have a salmon fillet with broccoli and asparagus. And maybe a bit of pesto for a kick. Nice and healthy. Maybe an orange for dessert.

I'm supervising exams at the moment which is a pain - means I can't fill up in water throughout the day as I can't leave to go to the bathroom.

Hope my stomach doesn't start rumbling loudly!!

Mmmm... Foooood....

Today is my first feast day in ten days! It started, very pleasantly, with another two kilos lost! So that's eight kilos now so far since the 30th of May. I'm so happy with myself. I can see it in my jeans, the bottom has become a bit saggy and I have to keep pulling them up. Not too attractive... but motivating!

John came in last night after dinner with his father at about half eleven - he was merry in the merriest way. He decided to have a few glasses of wine so I stayed up with him. I ended up getting to bed at five o'clock! However, I'm very proud of myself - I drank two pints of water and ate nothing. Normally when I'm up late, I get very eatey and munch around me.

Got up about midday today and went to do the weekly shop. I bought loads of vegetables and fish, and even though it's a feast day, and my first one in so long, I completely bypassed the crisps, pizzas and chocolate. I looked at them all, and thought to myself, "You can if you want" and I found that I wasn't that fussed. It's as if knowing that I could have them made the temptation less. I know that if I had looked at them sadly, thinking, "Never again", I would have bought the lot. Or else come home very grumpy.

Stopped in Centra on the way home to get John a roll and I did buy myself six chicken wings as a treat. I also had two squares of chocolate that I had saved up for myself.

We have to go to that barbeque later and I'm in two minds about whether to have some soup for dinner, (mushroom soup; delicious) or else let myself go altogether and have some barbequed meat. I really want that soup. But I know when I'm there smelling all those delicious aromas... I'll really want a sausage. And yet I'm still a bit scared of eating. I've only had 450 calories today so far though... Hmm...

I told John about this diet last night. He's a bit iffy about it. He keeps saying that I should do a calorie-controlled diet every day. I think the fact that I had chicken wings and some chocolate is making him think that this can't possibly be a diet. And I don't think he understands the utter boredom and depression of facing into a lifetime of daily calorie counting. I know he does it but he doesn't revel in food as I do.
I have a feeling that my feast days are going to be a bit of a tense subject for the next couple of weeks. Every time I eat something not "diety" I'm going to get comments; "You're eating chocolate??!!" He might settle down if I don't go all out and once he sees that I'm still losing weight.
To be fair to him, I think he's just concerned about my intake of nutrients, but I am going to be very careful about that.

I downloaded an app called "Fitness Pal" - seems great. You put in the food you had, (or scan the packet with the included barcode scanner) and it tells you what you've had in terms of iron, sodium, etc... Very handy, instead of trying to work it all out.

Right, soup or sausage, soup or sausage? Or... both???

Do I look thinner yet?

And here we are, day one!
I finished my Forever Living nine-day detox last night and today woke up to my first day of fasting. So far it's not very different to what I've been doing for the last nine days. I still have some things left over from the detox so I took two supplements and some aloe vera gel, mixed in a pint of water and orange juice.

I feel fine so far, not even hungry yet. I work part-time in a bookshop and today's my day there which is probably good. If I'm distracted I won't think about food. The sun is blazing down too which helps. I get all lean-feeling when it's sunny. I have images of bronzed bikini babes in my head that I aspire to.

I'll be home at half six tonight, and John is going to see his dad, so I'll be on my own for dinner. I think I'll have some leftover bolegnese that I made last night, with a boiled potato. That should get me to 500 calories quite easily. I should probably also walk the dog... Bane of my life!

I woke up yesterday with FOUR cold sores around my mouth and nose. It's awfully disfiguring and embarrassing - I've always been prone to them but never four at once! So now I'm a bit reluctant to go to the barbecue tomorrow. There'll be a lot of people there that I don't know and I look awful.
But I really do need a cheat day I think. I haven't lost weight in about four days, since losing the amazing six kilos at the start of the detox. I find often that a day of normal eating (and a little bit more) can kickstart another weight loss. So if I don't go to the barbecue, but sit and hide at home, I'm going to have a nice feast day. Maybe pasta for lunch with cheese and pesto. And some chocolate.
I'm a bit scared about eating though I must say. I've been so restricted for the last nine days that I've nearly forgotten how to eat without caring. Terrified I'll put some weight back on.

The beginning of the rest of my life - attempt number 193...

So, here I am again, about to embark on another effort at dieting.
My weight has risen dramatically in the last two years and I am now at the heaviest I have ever been. It doesn't feel good. My clothes don't fit, I hate clothes shopping, and as I'm getting older, I'm starting to worry about my health. I'm also worried about my fertility - I hope to get pregnant in about two or three years and I know that being significantly overweight will hamper that.
I'm 27 and 5 ft. 8. I don't really want to state my weight yet, as it shocks and humiliates me, but it is waaaaaay over what it should be.
I live a very sedentary lifestyle. I much prefer reading a book with a packet of biscuits and a mug of coffee than moving.
I live with my boyfriend, John, who is about 5 ft. 6, and weighs about 60 kilos. He's very into exercise and healthy eating, and must make an effort to keep weight on.... hence I feel like an ogre next to him. It would be nicer to feel like a lithe goddess...

Having ALWAYS been overweight, I've been on numerous diets. Some have been hugely successful, others not, but I have always put the weight back on and a bit extra. It depresses me and makes me very insecure. I always have guilt in the back of my mind and tell myself every day that I really should diet but... I never want to give up the food I love. I love cooking and food in general. Cheese, pate, pasta, crisps, chocolate... I also love vegetables and soups, however, I find that I can't live without the other luxuries. Everytime I go on a diet I find being in a shop incredibly hard. I find myself eyeing up the chocolate bars, the Pringles, the pizzas, and getting a bit down that I can't eat them as I'd like.

So, a new dawn has broken!! Three weeks ago, my eczema, a condition I've had since childhood, but rarely in the last decade or so, flared up on my upper arms, above my elbows. It was so scratchy that it was waking me up at night, and looked very unsightly - a big, red rash on my white, flabby skin!

It was always caused in the past by eating too much sugar, which I had been eating in huge quantities recently. I work in a school and the end of year had brought vast arrays of biscuits and cakes, donated by grateful parents.
I decided that I needed a detox. Now, I know detoxing is considered a bit of a myth but I figured that following a program that would encourage me to drink lots of water and eat only healthy foods could only do me good. I also knew that this would help me lose some weight and hoped that it would be the kickstart I needed to keep losing.
My mother is a distributer for Forever Living products, which base themselves on the health benefits of Aloe Vera. They also do a nine day detox programme, involving protein shakes, Aloe Vera gel drinks and a 600 calorie meal daily. A friend from work had done it and found it good, so I bit the bullet and took the plunge!
The first two days did not allow for any eating at all - just one protein shake, and various supplements. After that, I progressed to seven days of supplements, two protein shakes and one meal in the evening. Today is actually my last day.
I feel great and found it so easy to follow. It sounds torturous and the first two days were but after that I settled into it and could do it for much longer if needed.
I lost six kilos (roughly 13lbs), as well as two inches from my waist, one from each arm, one from my thighs, one from my hips and two from  my chest. That's nine inches!

After having done so well, I obviously don't want to go back to my old ways. In fact, I'm a bit nervous of being let out on my own again, so to speak. So, I've been researching different diets, trying to find one that I feel would suit me. I looked at the Fast Diet and the Two Day Diet, both of which sound similar. I've got into the routine of fasting and feel that I could do that. However, with both these diets, the other five days are still quite limited. You can't binge out - you still have to follow a healthy but restricted diet. I know this is good but I also know that this is what I've tried in the past. It worked for a few months, I got bored and ... it was back to the old ways. I need something that will allow me to eat pasta (albeit in smaller portions) or a bag of crisps without feeling that I've ruined everything.

This is why I have settled on the alternate day fasting. It consists of fasting one day, apart from a 500 calorie meal for women (which I've been doing for the last week with ease), and eating normally the next day. I realise that, again, "normally" does not mean binging, or eating two days worth of calories but I don't think this is something I'll do. My stomach has already shrunk in the last week and I'm having trouble eating even 500 calories in an evening meal. I think this diet will allow me to eat healthily but without beating myself up if I have a slice of cake or a few biscuits. I will calorie count anyway, and if I see myself going over the recommended daily amount, I'll have to rejig things a bit.

I usually eat healthy enough meals - lean protein, vegetables, etc... I think the problem is that my portions are too big, and that I add creamy sauces and cheese if I can. I also snack a lot. Crackers and blue cheese... Mm mmm mmmm.....

I think I might try to make my feast days fairly healthy - count calories and so on - with one celebration feast day a week, where I don't count and I have whatever I like for dinner - roast chicken or pork sound very good after a week of tuna and steamed chicken breast!

I'm also going to try to walk the dog for 20 - 30 minutes a day. If that sounds short, it's because I have to start somewhere and I HATE exercising. I find it terribly boring and long to get home to my couch and book. I feel that a little goal at the beginning has less chance of being dropped.

So! All that essay to say essentially this: I will start my alternate day fasting (ADF) tomorrow. We have to go to a friend's barbecue on Sunday and I will let that be a feast day. Hoping he has burgers...

If you have read this far, you must be very interested and so might also be interested in this blog: "Lauren Tries Out Alternate Day Fasting - http://tryingadf.blogspot.ie/. After reading so many articles on all the different diets and seeing so many conflicting views, this was the blog that made me realise that anyone can try it and it does work. And her feast days seem epic!

So, onwards and upwards! Wish me luck!