Remember me?

Apologies for the huge delay in writing - busier these days than I was during the summer. I've been feeling really impatient recently with it - not losing enough or quickly enough but I just looked back at some old blogs - I was down 24 kilos or 52 pounds on the 18th of September - today it's the 2nd of November - so just over six weeks later and I'm down 32 kilos as of this morning which is 70 pounds or 5 stone!
That's eight kilos in six weeks - I don't know what I'm getting so impatient about!!
Possibly it's because I bought a pair of skinny jeans three weeks ago in a size 16 which is my big goal. They did fit but were too tight so I couldn't really wear them. Now, three weeks on, they're looser around the bottom and waist but still way too tight around my calves - I can't really sit in them! Maybe that's why I've been getting disheartened - my legs aren't shrinking at all despite doing pilates twice a week and aqua aerobics once.
Also, I have some pairs of size 16 jeans that I used to fit into about 6 years ago and I still can't get them on, even though my size 18 jeans, which were too tight a month ago are now baggy and unattractive on me.
I think I'm just a bit fed up of not fitting into nice clothes yet - I've lost so much and I'm so close to my goal of being a size 16 but it's taking ages to do this final step. I'm easily a size 16 on top - even size 14s fit me but it's my stupid stumpy legs that are slowing things down on the jeans front.

In other news - John and I have been going out loads the last few weeks - big night of drinking every weekend. I've been keeping to the ADF routine fairly well but it's still not good. Last weekend, we went out the Friday night and I got a McDonald's on the way home, then had to work on Saturday so, since I was dying and wrecked, I ate all around me. I did fast on Sunday but on Monday we went for lunch at my parents' house and I just ate everything I wanted again, which resulted in a day of 3000 calories!

Felt awful after that, plus I caught a cold, so fasted on Tuesday and then had two half days of 750 calories on Wednesday and Thursday. Feasted yesterday but stopped at 1300 calories. Thought a week of low calories, lots of soup, and no sugar or bread might do me good. And it does seem to have if the scales are anything to go by!

Back to normal today anyway and I think I've managed to avoid a night out - John and I are going to the cinema. It'll be tough - I'll have to smell his popcorn but I think some time away from alcohol would be a good idea!

Getting Stronger!

Just back from my second Yoga class - way better. I really enjoyed it this time - was able to do the exercises better - noticed some improvement in my arm strength and the instructor never has to correct me - I can see how Pilates is helping in doing some of the positions.

I went to Zumba again on Monday and I really didn't like it. The music was very clubby - instead of Latin - and I just was bored. I don't know - maybe I just don't like jumping around - whereas I do like stretching because I can feel it in my muscles and it feels good. Going to Aqua Aerobics next Monday anyway so I might prefer that.

Went to Pilates on Tuesday and I'm beginning to notice a huge improvement. I have so much more strength in my core muscles - I can sit up now from a lying down position instead of having to roll or push myself up. Managed to keep my legs in the air a bit longer too though there's still a lot of room for improvement! I love it so much though - always disappointed when the 45 minutes are over.

So weight-wise, I'm down 24 kilos, or 52 pounds, now - even after feast days. I've been down 25, or 55 pounds, after some fast days but it hasn't stuck yet. I had been having big feast days - 2200 calories or so - so today I had a feast day of 1600 calories to see if it moves things a bit.

Nearly halfway to my next goal - of being down 35 kilos, or 77 pounds, by the end of November. Hope I make it! Things have really slowed down recently. I may need to have another couple of feast days in a row - I always lose weight quickly a week or so after it and it's been a month already since I last did it.

So Pilates again tomorrow night and then that's it for the weekend. I'm going to do some Yoga stretches at home to try to strengthen up a bit more - I'm becoming obsessed! My calves were KILLING me today after Pilates last night - going downstairs was a bit unsteady!

Oh yes, I finally took some more photos of myself in my underwear - first time was in July after having lost a lot of weight already. I hadn't seen any difference since then and it was really bothering me but I can finally see some change. I showed John too and he said he could definitely see it. My waist has gone in, my back is nearly bump-free and I think my legs look a bit leaner. But I'm not sure - that may have been the light. I'm not quite ready for a dramatic before-and-after unveiling, but it is encouraging.

Sometimes wish that weight-loss was faster though! I could go to the gym and run every day but... I really hate that...

A New Me

I am a different person - not in appearance but in lifestyle - I am going to gym classes four times a week (and spending a fortune!) Since I last wrote, (which was nine days ago - oops) I have been going to Pilates twice a week, and Yoga and Zumba once a week.

I love Pilates - the instructor is lovely and I really enjoy the exercises, although my muscles are weak and I can't do a lot of them properly. Even keeping my legs in the air when on my back is tough after a minute. I'm already seeing an improvement though - I can stretch further in some positions and the pain in my hips during some exercises is almost gone.

I went to Zumba last Monday week and it was good but I didn't love it. I had trouble keeping up with a lot of the steps. I suppose that comes with practice though. So last Monday, my friend and I decided to go to Aqua Aerobics instead. However, we got there to find that there'd been a mistake and it wasn't starting for two weeks. So we went for a swim - more chat, less swim - and I'll go to Zumba next Monday and then Aqua Aerobics the week after. I would just like one cardio class in the week. Pilates does get me hot but it's not really cardio.

Today, I was looking on Living Social - those cheap voucher websites, and I saw one for four Yoga classes. So I got that and tonight was the first night. It was good - like a calmer Pilates - but I didn't like it as much. Maybe it was the instructor, maybe it was the class dynamic, or maybe the fact that I felt more awkward about not being able to do some positions than I do in Pilates. I don't know. I have three classes left, one a week, so I'll go and see how I feel after.

In terms of eating, I've been good. However, my last few feast days have been quite high - hitting 2100 calories each time and sometimes a bit over. I have lost another kilo but it's fluctuating wildly. After a fast day I'm down, but after a feast day I'm up about two. I don't really count a kilo as being gone until it's still gone after a feast day. I have tightened my belt by another notch though which is encouraging.

Maybe my weight is fluctuating due to my new muscles...! Hmm...

On A Roll!

Well, it's been a great couple of days - I've lost another kilo - which makes it 23 kilos or nearly 51 pounds. It's exciting when the weight drops off quickly over a few days - makes up for the couple of weeks of nothing. I measured myself too and I've lost an inch from everywhere since the last time I measured myself - which was about six kilos ago. So overall, I've lost five inches from my waist, and four inches from my hips, each thigh, each arm, and my chest - though in that case it seems to have come off my back as my bras still fill the same way as before! It's great - I finally have a mostly flat back - the little rolls of fat are gone. I can wear tops now that before clung a bit and showed off the lumps - so I'd cover up with a cardigan. Now those tops are loose around the back.

I haven't been doing anything different - I think it may be the three days of feasting that I did recently. I also have been eating a bit more on my feast days in general - going from about 1600 calories to about 1900. Maybe that's having an effect - I may have slowed down my metabolism by having 1600 calories one day and then 500 the next. Probably not enough.

I had a feast day on Friday, and then was meeting some friends in town on Saturday night. Since I knew I'd drink, and ruin a fast, I decided to let Saturday be a feast day too and then fasted yesterday instead.
John is going to see his parents in Galway on Wednesday and he'll be gone till Friday. I'm so tempted to get a takeaway on Thursday night - Chinese or Indian - both of which I enjoy from time to time but which John doesn't like at all - so I never eat it. Thursday is supposed to be a fast day so I might have two feast days in a row. I don't know though - I have Pilates on Thursday night and having a big meal before that is not the best idea... Hmmm... what to do....?

Zumba tonight - kind of wish I wasn't going - I'm tired after the weekend and a cosy night in would suit me nicely. But I've paid, so I'll go. I am looking forward to how I'll feel afterwards - on a high and really pleased with myself. I put it into My Fitness Pal and it said that 45 minutes of Zumba was 640 calories!! I really don't know if I'm going to burn that much - that might be for people with slightly more stamina than I! So although My Fitness Pal is telling me that I can eat 2300 calories today - I'm stopping at 2000. Don't want to ruin the extra calorie burning effects of exercise!

I Amaze Myself...

So - it's been a while. Back at work and things are busy. The last time I wrote, I had just finished a kick-start experiment - eating about 1800 calories or so for three days in a row to try to get over my plateau. Nothing happened for a few days, in fact, when I weighed myself right after my three days, I had gained a kilo which I was furious about - considering my calories had still been low enough. However, that kilo went within a day or so and in the last four days I've lost another two kilos - at last! That's 22 kilos now, or 49 pounds. Another mountain left to go but at least now I just look overweight, instead of looking waddly. Eight kilos to go until my next goal weight at the end of November. I should make it - I hope.

I have great hopes that things will begin to move a bit faster though because... I've started going to the gym!!!! Well, I've been to one class. But I'm booked in for three more this week - and since I had to pay in advance, chances are good I'll go. I went to Pilates on Thursday night, and I'm booked in for Zumba on Monday night, and more Pilates on Tuesday and Thursday. It's €8 a go, which isn't the cheapest but it's not too bad either. There's no point getting a membership yet - I do know myself very well after all. If I'm still going in a month, I might join.

I don't know what suddenly persuaded me. I do prefer classes to going for walks but normally I can't be bothered to actually drive to a class. But I was reading on Wednesday night and just suddenly a longing to be slim and toned came into my mind - so I rang and booked straight away. Possibly it's motivated by the fact that people keep congratulating me at work but my weight loss has slowed down - I want it to start up again so that I keep hearing nice things! Also, my "Before" picture, that I took back in mid-July shows no difference to how I look now. Apart from possibly less fat on my back. Quite disappointing really. Another motivator is that I found a load of clothes from about six years ago when I'd lost another pile of weight and there are a pair of jeans that are a size down from now and only go up as far as my knees. So I have a new test pair. My previous test pair are on me as I type, and from fitting halfway up my hips, they now have to be belted on.

So - hopefully a new dawn has arisen. I'm hoping that after a while, I'll start to love these classes. All the people who post amazing "before and after" photos on Tumblr say how they lost weight through dieting and exercising - and they all seem to love exercising now. I'm really hoping I'll get into it too.
I did enjoy Pilates on Thursday - it was tough - at one point I thought my hip was actually going to break off - but I felt really good when I came home and all day yesterday too. I'm in agony though - my muscles are killing me. I can't lift my arms very well - even typing now is hurting them! But it's a nice pain - I like knowing that I actually worked some muscles for once.

Hopefully some of the flabbier bits will start to become less wobbly within the next couple of months!

Dream Life

I woke up today, weighed myself - ANOTHER kilo gone! It must be something in the air. I didn't believe it and reweighed myself, repositioning my feet and all - no, definitely gone. I can't believe it - like I said, I've done nothing different. I wonder if my awful week last week of only two fast days and lots of crisps made this week of proper fasting a bigger shock on my body and kick-started everything again. I don't know but I'm not complaining! I've reached my first goal - three stone gone and just under two weeks till I go back to work!

Anyway, I'm currently having a dilemma. I have become obsessed with Doritos - the spicy ones and have been dreaming of them all week. Every feast day I've been tempted to get a pack but considering they're 1000 calories for a pack, (a big pack but still) I've been putting it off. However, since I've stayed at 1600 calories all week on feast days, I think I might grant myself a cheaty feast day and pig out. I really feel like putting on a film and nibbling, especially since John's working tomorrow night - boredom factor kicking in. I know, boredom eating is wrong but... I have been so good and as a treat... maybe it's ok.

So, my dilemma is this - do I go all out? Eat what I want tomorrow - breakfast, lunch and dinner, which would probably come to about 1800 calories if I let myself go and also have 1000 calories on top of that? Which is nearly 3000 calories in a day...
Or - do I fast until dinner and then just eat one meal and the crisps after? Which would keep things at about 2000 calories?
Or - option three - do I eat normally but promise myself to only eat half the packet - and therefore end up at about 2400 calories or so which isn't hugely over what I should eat on a feast day anyway? The risk with that one is that I won't be able to stop myself and I'll eat all the packet. It would be a good exercise in self-control but I know myself.

What I could do is go for option three and if I break, I'll just have done option one. But if I do that will I be consumed by guilt? My Fitness Pal bar chart will be all red for tomorrow!!
It's a tough one. I just don't really feel like fasting again tomorrow till dinnertime.

I'll have to sleep on it. It's a nice dilemma to have though. I love feast days.

I tried on a pair of jeans earlier - they've been my test jeans since I started my diet. At first they came half-way up my legs, then they came up but wouldn't close, then they closed but felt as though they were cutting my hips in two, and now they close fairly comfortably. Still a little bit squished in them but I could wear them. It's nice to have jeans that fit. My current jeans are way too baggy now - my bottom is all saggy and awful in them but I don't want to buy another pair just yet. I think I probably have gone down a size now but I'm a bit scared in case I try on the next size and they don't fit. So I'll wait another week maybe - try to lose another kilo before I go shopping. I have to buy at least one pair before I go back to work. I also hope that once I have better fitting clothes, that people will start actually noticing that I've lost weight. No one has yet apart from people who know I'm dieting and are looking out for it. My mum says it's because my clothes are the same ones still and even though they're baggy now they hide the progress - I hope she's right. Going back to work will be the test!

Funnily enough, none of my measurements have changed since 3 kilos ago. You would think that it's coming off somewhere, and it's not like I've been building it up in muscle...

So my next goal is to fit comfortably into my test jeans by the time work starts. And my next real goal is to be down another dress size by my birthday, at the end of November. I think I read before that every 10 kilos, or 22 pounds, is a dress size. Obviously that hasn't been the case for me so far, I've lost 19 kilos and am just on the cusp of going down my first dress size but I hope it'll work from now on. So if I could lose another 10 kilos/22 pounds by the end of November - bearing in mind that weight loss usually slows down the closer to your goal that you get - I think that should be manageable. That means losing 0.6 kilos or just over a pound a week.

Hopefully I can do it just following what I'm doing now. If things aren't going too well by October, I may have to consider exercising a bit... Ugh...

NOOO....

Doom has come upon me. I think I'm allergic to avocados. My eczema is flaring up again, and having thought about it, avocado is the only foodstuff that I've significantly added to my diet in the last two months.

I am really, really, really disappointed. It's so delicious and creamy. So, no more avocados for a while. I'll see if my rash goes down, and if so, I'll guess that's it.

Funnily enough, I googled to see if anyone else had a similar reaction to avocado and a lot of people actually use it to HELP their eczema!

Got up this morning and did my five minutes of exercises. 55 squats and 25 crunches. The squats weren't too bad actually, I did them with the bed behind me and touched it with my bottom every time I squatted. A couple of times I lost my balance and actually sat but I wasn't too bad. I am going to get John to check my form though, because I have a feeling I'm not doing it quite right. It was tiring but I've no pain in my muscles after, and considering that I haven't used those muscles in about a year, there should be something!

Fast day today and I must say; I'm starving! I've had about four pints of water and a cup of coffee to help quench the hunger. I could have had a bowl of soup for lunch but I prefer to keep the fast going until dinnertime. I'll have some more butternut squash soup and bread I think. And maybe a square of dark chocolate. To console me over the loss of the avocado.

My dad's coming for dinner tomorrow - I'm going to make pasta with a smoked salmon and white wine sauce. With cream. Can't wait...

Oh, I finally took some "before" pictures last night. I downloaded an app on my phone which means they're password protected so no one can come across them by accident! So, we'll see. In a couple of months, I may decide to put them up with some "after" photos. Depends on how I look then!

Tentative Exercise...

Feast day today - soft-boiled eggs and soldiers for breakfast, guacamole on white baguette for lunch, (I'm OBSESSED with avocados at the moment) and butternut squash soup for dinner with more baguette. 200g of melon for dessert with a cup of coffee and a square of dark chocolate. 1592 calories for the day. I'm trying to keep it lowish for the next few feast days because I'll probably have a bit more to eat in France - there's a cousin's birthday meal to go to amongst other things.

I was on Tumblr earlier and found this blog - http://beforeandafterfatlosspics.tumblr.com/, which really motivated me. I kind of wish I'd taken a before picture when I started dieting. I could still do it now but to be honest I'm too embarrassed to even have that kind of a picture in existence, let alone on the internet. Worried that someone might see it some day. I wouldn't even want my boyfriend to see it and he sees me naked every day!
However, I did notice that nearly every single person on that blog mentions that they now do lots of exercise. And they look great. Toned and healthy. As I've said before, I HATE exercising. Last year I bought a book called "Run, Fat Bitch, Run" by Ruth Field. It did actually motivate me to get moving, and for five weeks I walked nearly every day, and slowly built up to a jog (which lasted about ten seconds but still). However, at no point did I ever enjoy it. I liked the feeling of getting better at it but I hated every second of that walk - my legs hurt and I was bored, even with good music on my MP3 player. So, I eventually gave up. Ruth Field did mention that running was rarely enjoyable, that it was hard and took discipline. I always have dreams of being one of these people who just goes for a run but... It didn't happen.
Today though, when I looked at those pictures, I did feel a bit envious of that running lifestyle. Added to that is the fact that my belly is terribly flabby and I'm worried that even if I lose all my weight, my skin will still be loose and gross. So I went online and decided to do the 30 Day Squat Challenge, as well as the 30 Day Crunch Challenge.
The squats were a disaster - my muscles are all ridiculously weak and I think I did them wrong. I did read up on how to do them, and watched videos, but I still found that my back hurt and no way was I going parallel to the ground. I'm going to try again tomorrow, using the bed behind me as a mental safety net. As I get better, I'll hopefully progress to a lower chair, and then to nothing at all.
The crunches were fine, they're one exercise I've always enjoyed actually.

My legs are a bit shaky now, and coming downstairs was wobbly but I'm glad I did them. I might get John to watch me tomorrow whilst I do the squats, and see if I'm doing them wrong. It's just a bit embarrassing, considering he lifts 70 kilos in a squat and I have to do them with a bed behind me... I was also hoping not to tell him I was doing anything, to see if he'd notice the difference, but it's more important that I don't throw my back out!

John has said before that even if he hasn't gone for a run in a long time, if he's been doing his squats, he finds that his stamina is still there. I suppose that the muscles stay developed. So I'm kind of thinking that I might try going for a walk with a short run thrown in after the thirty days and see if my fitness has improved.

This all sounds very promising now but this is coming from the person who got John to buy a treadmill and then used it once. It has now been sold again.

We shall see.