Dream Life

I woke up today, weighed myself - ANOTHER kilo gone! It must be something in the air. I didn't believe it and reweighed myself, repositioning my feet and all - no, definitely gone. I can't believe it - like I said, I've done nothing different. I wonder if my awful week last week of only two fast days and lots of crisps made this week of proper fasting a bigger shock on my body and kick-started everything again. I don't know but I'm not complaining! I've reached my first goal - three stone gone and just under two weeks till I go back to work!

Anyway, I'm currently having a dilemma. I have become obsessed with Doritos - the spicy ones and have been dreaming of them all week. Every feast day I've been tempted to get a pack but considering they're 1000 calories for a pack, (a big pack but still) I've been putting it off. However, since I've stayed at 1600 calories all week on feast days, I think I might grant myself a cheaty feast day and pig out. I really feel like putting on a film and nibbling, especially since John's working tomorrow night - boredom factor kicking in. I know, boredom eating is wrong but... I have been so good and as a treat... maybe it's ok.

So, my dilemma is this - do I go all out? Eat what I want tomorrow - breakfast, lunch and dinner, which would probably come to about 1800 calories if I let myself go and also have 1000 calories on top of that? Which is nearly 3000 calories in a day...
Or - do I fast until dinner and then just eat one meal and the crisps after? Which would keep things at about 2000 calories?
Or - option three - do I eat normally but promise myself to only eat half the packet - and therefore end up at about 2400 calories or so which isn't hugely over what I should eat on a feast day anyway? The risk with that one is that I won't be able to stop myself and I'll eat all the packet. It would be a good exercise in self-control but I know myself.

What I could do is go for option three and if I break, I'll just have done option one. But if I do that will I be consumed by guilt? My Fitness Pal bar chart will be all red for tomorrow!!
It's a tough one. I just don't really feel like fasting again tomorrow till dinnertime.

I'll have to sleep on it. It's a nice dilemma to have though. I love feast days.

I tried on a pair of jeans earlier - they've been my test jeans since I started my diet. At first they came half-way up my legs, then they came up but wouldn't close, then they closed but felt as though they were cutting my hips in two, and now they close fairly comfortably. Still a little bit squished in them but I could wear them. It's nice to have jeans that fit. My current jeans are way too baggy now - my bottom is all saggy and awful in them but I don't want to buy another pair just yet. I think I probably have gone down a size now but I'm a bit scared in case I try on the next size and they don't fit. So I'll wait another week maybe - try to lose another kilo before I go shopping. I have to buy at least one pair before I go back to work. I also hope that once I have better fitting clothes, that people will start actually noticing that I've lost weight. No one has yet apart from people who know I'm dieting and are looking out for it. My mum says it's because my clothes are the same ones still and even though they're baggy now they hide the progress - I hope she's right. Going back to work will be the test!

Funnily enough, none of my measurements have changed since 3 kilos ago. You would think that it's coming off somewhere, and it's not like I've been building it up in muscle...

So my next goal is to fit comfortably into my test jeans by the time work starts. And my next real goal is to be down another dress size by my birthday, at the end of November. I think I read before that every 10 kilos, or 22 pounds, is a dress size. Obviously that hasn't been the case for me so far, I've lost 19 kilos and am just on the cusp of going down my first dress size but I hope it'll work from now on. So if I could lose another 10 kilos/22 pounds by the end of November - bearing in mind that weight loss usually slows down the closer to your goal that you get - I think that should be manageable. That means losing 0.6 kilos or just over a pound a week.

Hopefully I can do it just following what I'm doing now. If things aren't going too well by October, I may have to consider exercising a bit... Ugh...

Growing Up (And In).

Down another kilo!!! That's two this week - so I've lost 18 kilos or 39 pounds so far! Can't believe it, it's so exciting when another bit just drops off. I haven't done anything differently - my feast day on Tuesday was1575 calories, had a fast day of 480 calories yesterday and back on a feast day today - I'm tempted to buy something nice for later, as John is on the night shift and I'll be alone. But that's probably a habit I should be breaking so maybe not.
One more kilo to go and I'll be at my first goal of three stone! Since I have two more weeks before work starts again it looks as though I might make it.

We went to meet a friend for lunch yesterday - I really wanted a delicious-sounding sandwich - goat's cheese, pesto, rocket and sun-dried tomatoes. But it being a fast day I stuck to the soup - Mexican bean - it was nice but the tomato part of the soup was just tinned tomatoes instead of actual tomato soup which was disappointing.
I was starving by about eight o'clock last night so I had a bowl of courgette soup I'd made - so handy having vegetable soup - kills any hunger pangs and it's about 30 calories for a bowl. My stomach was rumbling by the time I went to bed though - so much so that I couldn't wait this morning and jumped out of bed at about half seven to go have some breakfast - avocados on rice cakes.
Fasting till the evening and then having a dinner is really what works best for me.

I was worried last night - I was properly looking forward to eating today and I was lying in bed planning what I'd have, when I thought that it's probably not good to look forward to food so much, is it?? I mean, I know I was hungry but I always feel disappointed at the end of a feast day and slightly excited at the end of a fast day. I suppose as long as it's not making me binge it's ok. And whilst I always promise myself that I'll get crisps for my feast day, I never actually bother. Once the day comes and I'm able to eat what I want, I just go for the healthier option. I'm also getting fussy with my calories.  I'm at my parents' house now for lunch and I wanted a treat with my coffee. I found a pack of chocolate rice cakes, which I normally would scoff down. However, they're 18 calories each and quite small. I had one and decided that it wasn't nice enough to waste all those calories on. My sister offered me chocolate cake, which I know is delicious, and I didn't really want any. Too many calories.

I wonder is this good or bad. In the ADF book, by James Johnson, he does say not to self-restrict on feast days, as you will get bored faster. However, if I was craving it I would have it. So maybe I'm just finally learning self-control and food no longer holds its death-vice grip on me. I can look forward to it, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I don't need or crave it. I'm growing up! Hurray!

Am I? Aren't I?

So, woke up and weighed myself - down a kilo after all. Kind of. The bar was kind of hovering depending on how my feet were placed. But I'm saying it is a kilo to keep myself happy.
I know you shouldn't weigh yourself every day, but it's the most exciting part of my day! (Though John wants me to mention that it comes second to spending time with him... :) ) I've lost another inch from my hips too which is nice but I haven't noticed it in my clothes yet. Everything else has been the same for the last two weeks. Which makes sense as I haven't lost much weight...

Today was a feast day. I was saying yesterday how James B. Johnson, who wrote "The Alternate-Day Diet" warns against counting calories on feast days, in case "diet fatigue" sets in. I was thinking about this, as I've mentioned before that I'm really careful on feast days and count everything, trying not to go above 2000 calories, at most. I've decided not to worry about my way of doing it. If I do really want something, I do feel free to eat it on feast days. The only difference is that I count it and try to take only a bit so that I don't go over my calories. And if that teaches me portion control, it can only be a good thing!

So today I had A LOT of coffee - I'm going to allow myself to do that on feast days and try to abstain or have one cup only on fast days. That was 240 calories.
I didn't feel like breakfast as I got up late. For lunch I finished my vegetable soup and had a bread roll with it. 285 calories.

Dinner was a feast! I had chicken and wholegrain noodles with peanuts, raisins, green peppers and mushrooms, all in a Thai red curry sauce. 597 calories.

I also picked a little throughout the day but counted it. I had half a shortbread biscuit, a TINY bit of chocolate, and as a snack just now I had 33g of wenslydale and cranberry cheese, 4 multigrain crackers and 30g of a fruit tart I made for John. 360 calories in all. So that comes to 1452 calories for the day which I'm very happy about.

I checked my RMR, and it's 1908 calories. I'm going to try to stay below that on feast days if I can. That doesn't allow for any movement at all - even for a sedentary lifestyle - with no exercise and a desk job, it would go up to just over 2000 calories. However, as I'm the laziest person ever, I'm not even going to allow for that much movement. For example, I literally moved from chair to chair today and that was the extent of my exercise.

As I said in a previous post, I had very bad eczema when I was about 12 or 13. My arms, knees and chest were so itchy that I would scratch till they bled, and I ended up with huge scabs everywhere. Sexy. Anyway, at that time my mother took me to get an allergy test done, to see if we could help it. I was allergic to lots of things but the two main ones were sugar and yeast. Sugar is the one that actually caused me to itch everywhere, but I found that, as I got older, it generally didn't cause me any problem as long as I drank a decent amount of water every day. (Perhaps a pity, in terms of weight...) Yeast causes me to get very bloated and have awful stomach cramps, which sometimes double me over. However, as with sugar, as long as I don't eat bread all day long, and drink water, it rarely troubles me. I usually would have about two slices of bread a day, or else a small roll, and that was fine.
All that to say, however, that since starting my diet, nearly four weeks ago, my intake of bread has lessened considerably since it's so calorific. I think that possibly, as a result, I've become more intolerant to it. I had a roll for lunch and I'm really crampy now.
So I'm going to not eat bread for a few days, and then try again in about five or six days maybe. If I get cramps again, I'll know and it'll be bye bye to yeast. I'm crossing my fingers that this is just a fluke cramp because I love my bread!!!

I have also found that I've become much more intolerant to rich food. I get heartburn now much more easily on a feast day. Whilst what I'm eating now is SO much healthier than before I started this diet, I'm still having cheese and pate on feast days and I think my body is not appreciating it as it used to. It doesn't really bother me though. Anything that discourages me from eating fatty foods can only be good!