Feast day today - soft-boiled eggs and soldiers for breakfast, guacamole on white baguette for lunch, (I'm OBSESSED with avocados at the moment) and butternut squash soup for dinner with more baguette. 200g of melon for dessert with a cup of coffee and a square of dark chocolate. 1592 calories for the day. I'm trying to keep it lowish for the next few feast days because I'll probably have a bit more to eat in France - there's a cousin's birthday meal to go to amongst other things.
I was on Tumblr earlier and found this blog - http://beforeandafterfatlosspics.tumblr.com/, which really motivated me. I kind of wish I'd taken a before picture when I started dieting. I could still do it now but to be honest I'm too embarrassed to even have that kind of a picture in existence, let alone on the internet. Worried that someone might see it some day. I wouldn't even want my boyfriend to see it and he sees me naked every day!
However, I did notice that nearly every single person on that blog mentions that they now do lots of exercise. And they look great. Toned and healthy. As I've said before, I HATE exercising. Last year I bought a book called "Run, Fat Bitch, Run" by Ruth Field. It did actually motivate me to get moving, and for five weeks I walked nearly every day, and slowly built up to a jog (which lasted about ten seconds but still). However, at no point did I ever enjoy it. I liked the feeling of getting better at it but I hated every second of that walk - my legs hurt and I was bored, even with good music on my MP3 player. So, I eventually gave up. Ruth Field did mention that running was rarely enjoyable, that it was hard and took discipline. I always have dreams of being one of these people who just goes for a run but... It didn't happen.
Today though, when I looked at those pictures, I did feel a bit envious of that running lifestyle. Added to that is the fact that my belly is terribly flabby and I'm worried that even if I lose all my weight, my skin will still be loose and gross. So I went online and decided to do the 30 Day Squat Challenge, as well as the 30 Day Crunch Challenge.
The squats were a disaster - my muscles are all ridiculously weak and I think I did them wrong. I did read up on how to do them, and watched videos, but I still found that my back hurt and no way was I going parallel to the ground. I'm going to try again tomorrow, using the bed behind me as a mental safety net. As I get better, I'll hopefully progress to a lower chair, and then to nothing at all.
The crunches were fine, they're one exercise I've always enjoyed actually.
My legs are a bit shaky now, and coming downstairs was wobbly but I'm glad I did them. I might get John to watch me tomorrow whilst I do the squats, and see if I'm doing them wrong. It's just a bit embarrassing, considering he lifts 70 kilos in a squat and I have to do them with a bed behind me... I was also hoping not to tell him I was doing anything, to see if he'd notice the difference, but it's more important that I don't throw my back out!
John has said before that even if he hasn't gone for a run in a long time, if he's been doing his squats, he finds that his stamina is still there. I suppose that the muscles stay developed. So I'm kind of thinking that I might try going for a walk with a short run thrown in after the thirty days and see if my fitness has improved.
This all sounds very promising now but this is coming from the person who got John to buy a treadmill and then used it once. It has now been sold again.
We shall see.
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