I Amaze Myself...

So - it's been a while. Back at work and things are busy. The last time I wrote, I had just finished a kick-start experiment - eating about 1800 calories or so for three days in a row to try to get over my plateau. Nothing happened for a few days, in fact, when I weighed myself right after my three days, I had gained a kilo which I was furious about - considering my calories had still been low enough. However, that kilo went within a day or so and in the last four days I've lost another two kilos - at last! That's 22 kilos now, or 49 pounds. Another mountain left to go but at least now I just look overweight, instead of looking waddly. Eight kilos to go until my next goal weight at the end of November. I should make it - I hope.

I have great hopes that things will begin to move a bit faster though because... I've started going to the gym!!!! Well, I've been to one class. But I'm booked in for three more this week - and since I had to pay in advance, chances are good I'll go. I went to Pilates on Thursday night, and I'm booked in for Zumba on Monday night, and more Pilates on Tuesday and Thursday. It's €8 a go, which isn't the cheapest but it's not too bad either. There's no point getting a membership yet - I do know myself very well after all. If I'm still going in a month, I might join.

I don't know what suddenly persuaded me. I do prefer classes to going for walks but normally I can't be bothered to actually drive to a class. But I was reading on Wednesday night and just suddenly a longing to be slim and toned came into my mind - so I rang and booked straight away. Possibly it's motivated by the fact that people keep congratulating me at work but my weight loss has slowed down - I want it to start up again so that I keep hearing nice things! Also, my "Before" picture, that I took back in mid-July shows no difference to how I look now. Apart from possibly less fat on my back. Quite disappointing really. Another motivator is that I found a load of clothes from about six years ago when I'd lost another pile of weight and there are a pair of jeans that are a size down from now and only go up as far as my knees. So I have a new test pair. My previous test pair are on me as I type, and from fitting halfway up my hips, they now have to be belted on.

So - hopefully a new dawn has arisen. I'm hoping that after a while, I'll start to love these classes. All the people who post amazing "before and after" photos on Tumblr say how they lost weight through dieting and exercising - and they all seem to love exercising now. I'm really hoping I'll get into it too.
I did enjoy Pilates on Thursday - it was tough - at one point I thought my hip was actually going to break off - but I felt really good when I came home and all day yesterday too. I'm in agony though - my muscles are killing me. I can't lift my arms very well - even typing now is hurting them! But it's a nice pain - I like knowing that I actually worked some muscles for once.

Hopefully some of the flabbier bits will start to become less wobbly within the next couple of months!

Rewards

So had my first day back at work with all the staff back and it was great - so many people commented on how much weight I'd lost and I got wolf-whistled at and all!

It was a great feeling and gave me an extra push to keep going, which I think I've maybe been needing recently, what with things slowing down and all.

Today was my last day of my kickstart experiment - I ate about 2000 calories today and I have to say that I'll be glad to get back to fasting tomorrow. I feel bloated and sluggish. It's my fault - I could have upped my calories on potatoes and pasta instead of cheese - but anyway. At least the fast tomorrow will feel good. And hopefully I'll see some movement on the scales in the next few days.

Even if I don't, I'm just going to keep going as normal now for a few weeks - no more experiments. I can't plateau forever - I'll have to lose weight at some point!

I'm pleased at how I feel tonight - I was worried that three days of feasting would make me slip out of it a bit - I mean, today, at work, I had two biscuits at the morning break and I did get a moment of worry at one point, thinking, "Oh no, am I slipping back into my 'pick at everything' habits but I don't think so. I stopped at two without too much temptation, whereas last year I'd easily have polished off about four or five. But tonight, as I said, I'm actually looking forward to fasting tomorrow. Feels cleansing.

Shift Please...

I am experimenting again.

I took 3 photos of myself in my underwear about five weeks ago. I compared myself with them last night, and while there is some difference, it's minimal. I had to really look carefully to find anything. I'm a bit annoyed by this, as well as the fact that I haven't really lost weight in about two weeks - I've been hovering on going down one kilo recently but it's not certain enough to please me. So I'm having three feast days in a row, to try and kickstart things again.
As I've said before, I should be eating 2200 calories on feast days, but I usually eat about 1700 or so. I genuinely find it difficult to go above this - I don't want to eat lots of junk all the time to make it, or have huge portions, as I am trying to form better eating habits. However, I wonder if maybe the huge slowdown in weight loss is due to this - my metabolism slowing down maybe?

So yesterday I had a feast day, and today and tomorrow too. Now, I'm not too happy with myself, because yesterday I had pizza and quite a bit of cheese, and today I had even more cheese and some crisps. I haven't gone above 1800 calories either day but I know that saturated fat is not the way to be going either. Tomorrow is the staff lunch - first day back at work after the summer - and there'll be salads but also cake - all of which I intend to eat. So tomorrow night I'm going to have lots of vegetables - I'm worrying a bit for my insides. I'm also worrying that all this saturated fat will mean a rise on the scales in the morning...
Hopefully then, once I start fasting again, I should lose a bit more weight. That seems to have triggered weight loss the last time I did this.

The reason I'm so impatient at the moment is that I'm bordering on going down the next dress size, and I really need new jeans for work but I want to fit into them comfortably, instead of squeezing myself in, when I go to buy them.

However, aside from all the moaning, I just spent a very enjoyable hour. I tried on all my clothes that haven't fit me in three years and they nearly all fit now, apart from a couple of tops that fit but still look a bit tight. So my wardrobe has tripled which is great!

I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow - I'd better get lots of comments on my weight loss!

Sleep The Fast Away

Fasted all day Saturday with surprising ease in the end. I had a bowl of butternut squash soup that I had made, for breakfast, to ease the hunger pangs, and then didn't eat until seven o'clock that evening. I had more soup and three rice-cakes with an avocado. That brought me to about 470 calories, so as a treat, I decided to use up the rest of my calories on some of the chocolates I'd bought for Friday night - the Maltesers specifically. Weighed them out and calculated the calories - I was allowed three! Seven grams of Maltesers is about 35 calories - three Maltesers weigh seven grams. That is ridiculous! When I think of the amount I used to eat without a thought before... Ugh - I feel slightly sick and ashamed.

John went out Saturday night with people from work and came home about three o'clock in the morning. I woke up and got up - he decided to have a couple more beers so I stayed up with him, chatting and listening to music - we made it to bed about two o'clock on Sunday afternoon. I was very good though - just had two cans of Diet Coke, and didn't eat anything. Even though technically I was into a feast day by the morning and could have eaten. We went to bed and slept for a few hours. We were due at my parents' for dinner at half-six so I dragged an unwilling John out of bed and we went. Had some crisps, goat's cheese on honeyed toast with salad, and my mum had made the exact same salmon meal that I had made on Friday night! I also had three glasses of Cremant - so all in all, the meal came to about 1600 calories.

I must say, it seems like a bit of a waste of a feast day - to sleep it away and only have one meal - but on the other hand, fasting before a big meal is ideal really, as it kept my calories down. Sleeping is really handy sometimes - fast days where I sleep in and don't wake until late morning are great - dinner never seems so far away.

I'm back at work on Thursday - big staff lunch organised so luckily it happens to be a feast day. It'll be interesting to see how ADF fits into my working life. I suspect that working will make it much easier - as I've said before - if I'm busy, I don't feel hungry, or at least, I don't dwell on the hunger on fast days.

Oh yes, I'm also down another kilo! It's been hovering for the last couple of days - I've been down after fast days, and back up after feast days, but today is the first day it's down after a feast day. This always happens - I lose a kilo but it doesn't stay properly down for four or five days - I guess that's why you're only supposed to weigh yourself once a week... So that's 20 kilos gone now - or 44 pounds.
Went through my old clothes the other day - I was going to have to go buy new jeans before work as all my nice jeans are way too baggy on me now but I found two pairs that fit me about three years ago when I was a size smaller, and fit me again now! Great feeling - fitting into old clothes. Plus it saves me money. So now I need to concentrate on going down another size by the end of November. My dream (which might sound silly) is to be able to wear a denim skirt, with tights and boots by winter. It's a look I love and have never been able to wear due to my tree-trunk legs.

Surrounded By Temptation

I've been good all week, keeping to my calorie limits. Had two friends over for dinner last night, so I had an avocado and three rice cakes for breakfast and then I fasted the rest of the day in anticipation. As it turned out, I didn't actually eat too terribly. I had about 1900 calories for the day. We had tortillas with guacamole for starter, but I didn't eat too much. Then I had made hot-smoked salmon darnes, with mashed potato, red pepper ratatouille, and a cream and mustard sauce. For dessert, we had lime and ginger cheesecake. And a few glasses of wine throughout. Fairly rich meal, considering my breakfast was only about 300 calories!

Fasting today and it's going to be a tough one. I have that eatey feeling I get after eating rich food the day before - stomach feels all rumbly and empty. I also got up really early, despite it being a Saturday - John is working overtime and got up at seven. I was awake so decided to get up too. But now  a big long day of being alone and no eating is stretching in front of me. Plus he has a work night out tonight so I'll be alone all evening too. Perfect day to pig out - especially since it's raining and I'm surrounded by lots of lovely leftovers from last night - as well as all the extras I had bought in case people were extra hungry - cheese and crisps and chocolate... But no - the memory of last week's pig out is still fresh in my mind, and I don't want to feel like that again. Also, we're going for dinner to my parent's tomorrow so today has to be a fast day.

Pity it's so dismal outside - it's always easier to eat less when it's sunny I find.

And On Again...

Back on track which feels good. Had a feast day of 1600 calories yesterday - 4 rice cakes with 30g of pate for breakfast, two soft-boiled eggs with a small roll for lunch, and pasta with a red pepper, chicken and goat's cheese sauce for dinner.
Fast day today - vegetable soup with a pitta bread for dinner later and a square of 70% dark chocolate for dessert. That'll be 481 calories. Can't wait - I'm starving! Had a busy day though which is always good for keeping my mind off eating.

Meeting my dad for lunch tomorrow - I always get the chicken liver pate plate when I go for lunch with him - it's quite small so only comes to about 370 calories - it's always harder to work out calories in restaurants. Can't exactly start weighing the pate at the table!
I did the weekly shop today and I bought a delicious-looking pizza for our dinner tomorrow night. Goat's cheese, spinach and caramelised onions - mmmmm... We're going to have a half each with some salad - the whole pizza is 1200 calories! To think that I used to think nothing of eating a whole pizza myself for dinner..!

I love this diet though - I would never have bought a pizza before for dinner unless we had been out the night before as I'd have felt guilty. Now, knowing that I can fit half into my calories, and that it's a treat means that I have no guilt about it.

I have friends coming for dinner on Friday night - since it'll be an evening of heavy eating I'm going to fast all day before - even though it's a feast day. Really don't want a repeat of the last day's calories or guilt!

Got a haircut today - who knows - maybe I'll be down another pound tomorrow!!

Guilt Trip

So... the best-laid plans of mice and men... Last night was a disaster. I ate 3400 calories in the whole day. I ate crisps and I also bought chocolate and I absolutely stuffed my face whilst watching a film, with no restraint at all.
Did I feel horrendous after? Yes. Was it worth it? No, not in the slightest. I was eating and feeling guilty as I ate. I also didn't even enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I wasn't savouring every bite. The first few crisps were lovely, yes, but then it got too much but I just didn't stop. Same with the chocolate. By the end, I was eating just to finish.
I had a food hangover then for the rest of the night - felt depressed and guilty and sick. I drank loads of water to try to feel better but it didn't work.
Woke up still feeling horrible and couldn't bear to weigh myself.

So, today was a fast day and I've never been so grateful for one. I ate nothing until six o'clock, although I was starving and starting to feel sick. Just drank pints of water and then finally had a tuna salad for dinner. Came to 430 calories for the day.

Tomorrow's a feast day again but I'll go back to normal and try not to go over 1800 calories.

I wish I hadn't done it but maybe it'll be good in that it'll put me off doing it again. I know I'll forget about this and in another month or so I'll want to do it again but hopefully if I read this it'll remind me that it's a bad idea!!

Also, I think that if I do decide to do this again, I'll do what I did last week when friends came over, and fast for the day. So at least the calorie count shouldn't go so astronomically high.

My poor Fitness Pal app - it didn't know what hit it. The bar for yesterday is all red and threatening. The only thing that is stopping me from completely breaking down is that I was so good for the rest of the week, with four fast days and two other feast days of 1600 calories.

Anyway, that's done - I'm back to normal and hopefully the scales won't get a shock tomorrow.

Dream Life

I woke up today, weighed myself - ANOTHER kilo gone! It must be something in the air. I didn't believe it and reweighed myself, repositioning my feet and all - no, definitely gone. I can't believe it - like I said, I've done nothing different. I wonder if my awful week last week of only two fast days and lots of crisps made this week of proper fasting a bigger shock on my body and kick-started everything again. I don't know but I'm not complaining! I've reached my first goal - three stone gone and just under two weeks till I go back to work!

Anyway, I'm currently having a dilemma. I have become obsessed with Doritos - the spicy ones and have been dreaming of them all week. Every feast day I've been tempted to get a pack but considering they're 1000 calories for a pack, (a big pack but still) I've been putting it off. However, since I've stayed at 1600 calories all week on feast days, I think I might grant myself a cheaty feast day and pig out. I really feel like putting on a film and nibbling, especially since John's working tomorrow night - boredom factor kicking in. I know, boredom eating is wrong but... I have been so good and as a treat... maybe it's ok.

So, my dilemma is this - do I go all out? Eat what I want tomorrow - breakfast, lunch and dinner, which would probably come to about 1800 calories if I let myself go and also have 1000 calories on top of that? Which is nearly 3000 calories in a day...
Or - do I fast until dinner and then just eat one meal and the crisps after? Which would keep things at about 2000 calories?
Or - option three - do I eat normally but promise myself to only eat half the packet - and therefore end up at about 2400 calories or so which isn't hugely over what I should eat on a feast day anyway? The risk with that one is that I won't be able to stop myself and I'll eat all the packet. It would be a good exercise in self-control but I know myself.

What I could do is go for option three and if I break, I'll just have done option one. But if I do that will I be consumed by guilt? My Fitness Pal bar chart will be all red for tomorrow!!
It's a tough one. I just don't really feel like fasting again tomorrow till dinnertime.

I'll have to sleep on it. It's a nice dilemma to have though. I love feast days.

I tried on a pair of jeans earlier - they've been my test jeans since I started my diet. At first they came half-way up my legs, then they came up but wouldn't close, then they closed but felt as though they were cutting my hips in two, and now they close fairly comfortably. Still a little bit squished in them but I could wear them. It's nice to have jeans that fit. My current jeans are way too baggy now - my bottom is all saggy and awful in them but I don't want to buy another pair just yet. I think I probably have gone down a size now but I'm a bit scared in case I try on the next size and they don't fit. So I'll wait another week maybe - try to lose another kilo before I go shopping. I have to buy at least one pair before I go back to work. I also hope that once I have better fitting clothes, that people will start actually noticing that I've lost weight. No one has yet apart from people who know I'm dieting and are looking out for it. My mum says it's because my clothes are the same ones still and even though they're baggy now they hide the progress - I hope she's right. Going back to work will be the test!

Funnily enough, none of my measurements have changed since 3 kilos ago. You would think that it's coming off somewhere, and it's not like I've been building it up in muscle...

So my next goal is to fit comfortably into my test jeans by the time work starts. And my next real goal is to be down another dress size by my birthday, at the end of November. I think I read before that every 10 kilos, or 22 pounds, is a dress size. Obviously that hasn't been the case for me so far, I've lost 19 kilos and am just on the cusp of going down my first dress size but I hope it'll work from now on. So if I could lose another 10 kilos/22 pounds by the end of November - bearing in mind that weight loss usually slows down the closer to your goal that you get - I think that should be manageable. That means losing 0.6 kilos or just over a pound a week.

Hopefully I can do it just following what I'm doing now. If things aren't going too well by October, I may have to consider exercising a bit... Ugh...

Growing Up (And In).

Down another kilo!!! That's two this week - so I've lost 18 kilos or 39 pounds so far! Can't believe it, it's so exciting when another bit just drops off. I haven't done anything differently - my feast day on Tuesday was1575 calories, had a fast day of 480 calories yesterday and back on a feast day today - I'm tempted to buy something nice for later, as John is on the night shift and I'll be alone. But that's probably a habit I should be breaking so maybe not.
One more kilo to go and I'll be at my first goal of three stone! Since I have two more weeks before work starts again it looks as though I might make it.

We went to meet a friend for lunch yesterday - I really wanted a delicious-sounding sandwich - goat's cheese, pesto, rocket and sun-dried tomatoes. But it being a fast day I stuck to the soup - Mexican bean - it was nice but the tomato part of the soup was just tinned tomatoes instead of actual tomato soup which was disappointing.
I was starving by about eight o'clock last night so I had a bowl of courgette soup I'd made - so handy having vegetable soup - kills any hunger pangs and it's about 30 calories for a bowl. My stomach was rumbling by the time I went to bed though - so much so that I couldn't wait this morning and jumped out of bed at about half seven to go have some breakfast - avocados on rice cakes.
Fasting till the evening and then having a dinner is really what works best for me.

I was worried last night - I was properly looking forward to eating today and I was lying in bed planning what I'd have, when I thought that it's probably not good to look forward to food so much, is it?? I mean, I know I was hungry but I always feel disappointed at the end of a feast day and slightly excited at the end of a fast day. I suppose as long as it's not making me binge it's ok. And whilst I always promise myself that I'll get crisps for my feast day, I never actually bother. Once the day comes and I'm able to eat what I want, I just go for the healthier option. I'm also getting fussy with my calories.  I'm at my parents' house now for lunch and I wanted a treat with my coffee. I found a pack of chocolate rice cakes, which I normally would scoff down. However, they're 18 calories each and quite small. I had one and decided that it wasn't nice enough to waste all those calories on. My sister offered me chocolate cake, which I know is delicious, and I didn't really want any. Too many calories.

I wonder is this good or bad. In the ADF book, by James Johnson, he does say not to self-restrict on feast days, as you will get bored faster. However, if I was craving it I would have it. So maybe I'm just finally learning self-control and food no longer holds its death-vice grip on me. I can look forward to it, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I don't need or crave it. I'm growing up! Hurray!

Nearly at Goal Number One!!

Apologies again for the lack of posts - we're currently fostering four puppies and another dog. And we have our own dog. Things are mental here!

So, last week was a bit of a disaster in terms of ADF. I found I'd lost another kilo, or two pounds which was great. Had a feast day last Sunday week. Ate away, intending to fast the next day. Then, my friend is back in Cork, so we decided to meet up on Monday evening. I told her to come for dinner - cue wine, Doritos, chocolate... However, I did fast all day in anticipation of a big dinner so I still only finished the day at 2200. Considering I managed that in one meal, it's pretty impressive. Next day, another friend wanted to call to see the puppies. I told her to come for dinner, and she said she'd bring dessert. So, I fasted again, and only intended eating dinner and a bit of dessert. However, within 10 minutes of her being there, we had decided to go buy more crisps and Doritos. I didn't even bother counting, I just figured that I had ingested another 2200 calories. The next day, Wednesday, I felt guilty and horrible - so when another friend asked to come and see the puppies I didn't invite her for dinner and I made her eat loads of dessert to get rid of it! That day was good enough, I had 600 calories. One hundred of those was by accident - I ate a square of chocolate before remembering that I was already at my 500 calorie limit.

So, on Thursday, John brought me for dinner - I had chicken wings as a starter and then a lovely creamy pasta dish with chicken and sundried tomatoes. Since it was a feast day again, I also allowed myself to eat some more Doritos. So delicious. It's 1000 calories per 200g bag though!! I ate a few more than I should have so that day came to about 1900 calories.
On Friday, I was supposed to fast but a friend wanted to meet us for drinks. So I decided to eat and switch my fast day to Saturday. I easily had about 2200 calories on Friday, what with the drink and the crisps my friend kept buying in the pub.

However, since Saturday, I've been back on track. Saturday was tough - I always want to eat loads after a night out and John was being all hungover and munchy. He had a McDonald's - terrible for you but so so tempting. He also finished all the Doritos, whilst I salivated next to him. However, I held firm and finished the day at 494 calories.

Since then I've been good. My feast days are around 1600 calories and I'm keeping my fast days at 480 calories roughly. I didn't gain any weight in that terrible week of eating which was a nice surprise and yesterday I weighed myself to find another kilo gone! And that was after a feast day, which is very surprising.
So I'm only two kilos away from my goal of losing three stone by the time I go back to work. I only have 16 days left though, so I'm not sure if I'll manage it. I don't really mind if I don't to be honest though, having lost 17 kilos, or 37 pounds is better than I ever expected.

Lauren Kim, at http://tryingadf.blogspot.ie/ told me of a calculator on the ADF official website - http://www.johnsonupdaydowndaydiet.com/html/how-to-do-the-diet.html which tells you how many calories you should eat on your feast and fast days. I'm about right with my fast days but for my feast days he recommends 2200 calories! I usually feel guilty if I eat about 1800! It's tempting but I think that knowing myself, I'd end up using all those extra calories on crisps or other junk. So I'm going to keep at my usual limit but once a week I'll allow myself to go that bit higher without feeling like I cheated afterwards. Or at least I'll try. The "My Fitness Pal" app is very good at making you feel guilty if you go over the calories it recommends. On the bar chart section the bar goes red when you go over your daily intake and it really makes me feel like I've failed! Probably a part of what keeps me on track!