Growing Up (And In).

Down another kilo!!! That's two this week - so I've lost 18 kilos or 39 pounds so far! Can't believe it, it's so exciting when another bit just drops off. I haven't done anything differently - my feast day on Tuesday was1575 calories, had a fast day of 480 calories yesterday and back on a feast day today - I'm tempted to buy something nice for later, as John is on the night shift and I'll be alone. But that's probably a habit I should be breaking so maybe not.
One more kilo to go and I'll be at my first goal of three stone! Since I have two more weeks before work starts again it looks as though I might make it.

We went to meet a friend for lunch yesterday - I really wanted a delicious-sounding sandwich - goat's cheese, pesto, rocket and sun-dried tomatoes. But it being a fast day I stuck to the soup - Mexican bean - it was nice but the tomato part of the soup was just tinned tomatoes instead of actual tomato soup which was disappointing.
I was starving by about eight o'clock last night so I had a bowl of courgette soup I'd made - so handy having vegetable soup - kills any hunger pangs and it's about 30 calories for a bowl. My stomach was rumbling by the time I went to bed though - so much so that I couldn't wait this morning and jumped out of bed at about half seven to go have some breakfast - avocados on rice cakes.
Fasting till the evening and then having a dinner is really what works best for me.

I was worried last night - I was properly looking forward to eating today and I was lying in bed planning what I'd have, when I thought that it's probably not good to look forward to food so much, is it?? I mean, I know I was hungry but I always feel disappointed at the end of a feast day and slightly excited at the end of a fast day. I suppose as long as it's not making me binge it's ok. And whilst I always promise myself that I'll get crisps for my feast day, I never actually bother. Once the day comes and I'm able to eat what I want, I just go for the healthier option. I'm also getting fussy with my calories.  I'm at my parents' house now for lunch and I wanted a treat with my coffee. I found a pack of chocolate rice cakes, which I normally would scoff down. However, they're 18 calories each and quite small. I had one and decided that it wasn't nice enough to waste all those calories on. My sister offered me chocolate cake, which I know is delicious, and I didn't really want any. Too many calories.

I wonder is this good or bad. In the ADF book, by James Johnson, he does say not to self-restrict on feast days, as you will get bored faster. However, if I was craving it I would have it. So maybe I'm just finally learning self-control and food no longer holds its death-vice grip on me. I can look forward to it, and thoroughly enjoy it, but I don't need or crave it. I'm growing up! Hurray!