Sunday 11 August 2013

Guilt Trip

So... the best-laid plans of mice and men... Last night was a disaster. I ate 3400 calories in the whole day. I ate crisps and I also bought chocolate and I absolutely stuffed my face whilst watching a film, with no restraint at all.
Did I feel horrendous after? Yes. Was it worth it? No, not in the slightest. I was eating and feeling guilty as I ate. I also didn't even enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I wasn't savouring every bite. The first few crisps were lovely, yes, but then it got too much but I just didn't stop. Same with the chocolate. By the end, I was eating just to finish.
I had a food hangover then for the rest of the night - felt depressed and guilty and sick. I drank loads of water to try to feel better but it didn't work.
Woke up still feeling horrible and couldn't bear to weigh myself.

So, today was a fast day and I've never been so grateful for one. I ate nothing until six o'clock, although I was starving and starting to feel sick. Just drank pints of water and then finally had a tuna salad for dinner. Came to 430 calories for the day.

Tomorrow's a feast day again but I'll go back to normal and try not to go over 1800 calories.

I wish I hadn't done it but maybe it'll be good in that it'll put me off doing it again. I know I'll forget about this and in another month or so I'll want to do it again but hopefully if I read this it'll remind me that it's a bad idea!!

Also, I think that if I do decide to do this again, I'll do what I did last week when friends came over, and fast for the day. So at least the calorie count shouldn't go so astronomically high.

My poor Fitness Pal app - it didn't know what hit it. The bar for yesterday is all red and threatening. The only thing that is stopping me from completely breaking down is that I was so good for the rest of the week, with four fast days and two other feast days of 1600 calories.

Anyway, that's done - I'm back to normal and hopefully the scales won't get a shock tomorrow.

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